February: Halfway to Spring

This is a post I’ve been thinking about writing all week, I even got so close to as sitting down with an empty draft on the laptop last night but when it came to it, there were no words. In a nutshell this past week (maybe more) has turned me upside down, back to front and inside out which means since the weekend I’ve struggled quite a bit with my mental health. I wrote a few weeks back about struggling and seeking help, unfortunately the latter never happened as more pressing matters ended up coming to fruition and taking my time (I know, there’s no excuse really).

Unfortunately my Pa was admitted to hospital last Wednesday (eight days ago now) after what we hoped was just a cold became something a bit more sinister. He was bedridden, struggling even on oxygen therapy and to top it off his INR levels had shot through the roof to make his blood dangerously thin. After a visit from his (phenomenal) GP he was referred to the hospital and after quite a wait with a Paramedic he was eventually put in an ambulance and blue lighted up to A&E. The Trauma team checked him over, gave him a nebuliser which dramatically improved his oxygen saturations and he was moved to the Emergency Management Unit Ward where he still is today. After bloods were taken we found out that as well as an antibacterial infection, he had also unfortunately contracted the flu despite having had the flu jab late last Autumn; he contracted a different strain which seems to have taken the NHS by surprise as there were quite a few in with the same infection.

The flu in any normal healthy person would knock you for six so to already have quite dramatically deteriorated lungs it’s going to take some time for him to recover. Thankfully I can report that he is on the mend, the infection is clearing up and after a shaky time of potentially moving him to a High Dependency Unit, he managed to recover enough to stay on the Ward he’s on for the time being. That’s not to say he’s back to his old self, far from it right now but it’s baby steps all the way to get back on his feet again. I’ve already praised them on Twitter, but my absolute heartfelt thank you to the GP, Paramedics, Nurses, Consultants, Healthcare Assistants and all who have crossed his path in the past week and for giving him so much care and support in difficult circumstances and at this spectacularly busy time of year for them too.

So, that’s where I’ve been the past week. Dashing to and from hospital in between trying to keep everything running and feeling guilty that I haven’t been able to commit myself to University work as much as I’d like. In other good news though, my proposal to speak at the Midlands Health Psychology was approved so on my twenty-seventh birthday I’ll be visiting Coventry University and presenting my research dissertation for a whole bunch of Health Psychologists. It’ll be my first foray into public speaking so though it’s a terrifying prospect, it’s an exciting one to feel a bit more connected to the world I’m trying to merge myself into. Fingers crossed and I’ll keep you posted on progress with that.

What else? Ah yes, Imbolc this past week so we are officially half way to the introduction of Spring and funnily enough it feels as if Winter has decided to appear properly for the first time. We’ve had more frost and even threatening’s of snow coming this weekend so the daffodils might just have to hold off for a short period though I am on the hunt for some snowdrops. As much as I love Winter I am looking forward to more sunlight and welcoming colour back, I think it’ll improve a lot of my depression to just feel as if we’re moving away from the darkness and back into the light.

Apologies this post has probably been a bit of a Debbie downer but it felt important to acknowledge the tough ride this past week or so has been, and to also accept that for now it’s going to continue to be a bit of a tough slog. But we’ll make it there eventually. It’s all about patience. Which I suck at by the way, but we all have to start somewhere don’t we?

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